I've been trying to diversify my knowledge when it comes to movies. I mean, I've watched lots of them, but there are still so many I never bothered about and so many I've wanted to watch and never did.
So this week I decided to check one more off my long list: How to Steal a Million.
Nicole's father, a legendary art collector, lends his prized Cellini Venus to a prestigious Paris museum. Unfortunately, the Venus was *not* sculpted by Cellini but by Nicole's grandfather. (Her father is a forger as well, but his specialty is paintings.) Before tests can be done which would prove the Venus a fake, Nicole enlists the services of "society burglar" Simon Demott to steal the million dollar statue.
[Evaluating Nicole's cleaning-woman costume]
Simon Dermott: Yes, that's fine. That does it.
Nicole Bonnet: Does what?
Simon Dermott: Well, for one thing, it gives Givenchy a night off.
(Her wardrobe in the movie is actually credited to Givenchy)
Simon Dermott: There's the bathroom, take off your clothes.
Nicole Bonnet: Are we planning the same sort of crime?
Charles Bonnet: This tall, good-looking ruffian with blue eyes, he didn't, er, molest you in any way, did he?
[Nicole is staring off dreamily]
Charles Bonnet: Well, did he?
Nicole Bonnet: Not much.
Nicole Bonnet: I can't drive a stolen car!
Simon Dermott: Same principle, four gears forward, one reverse.
Charles Bonnet: I doubt very much if Van Gogh himself would have gone through so much trouble.
Nicole Bonnet: He didn't have to. He was Van Gogh!
Simon Dermott: [about to see Nicole to a taxi] Just one more tiny favour: like an idiot I forgot to wear gloves on the job. I may have left some fingerprints. Be an angel. Before you go to bed, just give the frame of the painting a little wipe with a clean cloth, ok?
Nicole Bonnet: Certainly. Anything else? You wouldn't like a forged passport or some counterfeit money or...
Simon Dermott: Why must it be this particular work of art?
Nicole Bonnet: You don't think I'd steal something that didn't belong to me, do you?
Simon Dermott: Excuse me, I spoke without thinking.
Simon Dermott: Where precisely were you in the early part of the sixteenth century?
Nicole Bonnet: I don't know but that's not how I was dressed.
Simon Dermott: [being introduced to the museum head] Miss Bonnet and I are old friends. We used to shoot together.
Charles Bonnet: [describing Nicole's grandmother who posed for the Venus] Naturally that was before she started eating those enormous lunches.
Simon Dermott: It's National Crime Prevention Week. Take a burglar to dinner.
Simon Dermott: [bumping into Nicole at the museum] Good morning! We meet under the most artistic circumstances.
Simon Dermott: Look, it's early, why don't I show you the real Paris?
Nicole Bonnet: That's very kind of you, but I live here; I was born in Paris.
Simon Dermott: Oh, that's right, I forgot. Well why don't you show me the real Paris.
Simon Dermott: Why don't you wait till you get it home and steal it then? No muss, no fuss, just a nice clean inside job? I'd be happy to offer my services.
Nicole Bonnet: [stuck in the closet with Simon] I didn't think there'd be this much togetherness.
Simon Dermott: Well, it's the height of the tourist season. Everything was book up. It was the best I could do.
Nicole Bonnet: [Simon has opened the door] Marvelous!
Simon Dermott: No applause, please.
Simon Dermott: [crazy Senor Paravideo comes as Nicole and Simon are leaving] Who's that?
Nicole Bonnet: [obviously lying] Papa's cousin... from South America!
Simon Dermott: You know for someone who started lying recently, you're showing a real flare!
Nicole Bonnet: Oh thank you!
[she hugs him]
Simon Dermott: [after leaving a book with some coins inside] Watch for normal human reactions!