going away to college.

I'm tired. Not fisically tired, but I really need a break. I know I had a vacation, like, until 2 weeks ago, but going on such a stressful trip is not a break. I just want to go somewhere nice, have nice people around me, and, I don't know... maybe make some new friends. Not that I don't love my friends, but sometimes I get a little tired of their lack of interest in each other's lives. I miss the time when I had five different people to talk to when I was confused, and even though nothing I said made sense at least one of them would get whatever I meant.

Growing up in my house was pretty hard, but sometimes I think it's worse now, 'cause now I not only feel bad, but most times I know why it happens, but I still don't think any of them will get it. This is actually making me quite crazy, 'cause I don't understand how anyone can feel better outside their own house, and not stand being with their family. Well, maybe I don't understand, but it happens to me quite a lot.

I have to admit I think the reason for my craziness about getting my room to be the way I dream is caused by this. I want my room to be my hiding place, whatever happens. I painted one of the walls bright yellow, I bought an Audrey Hepburn poster in Orlando, a Belle poster, my own laptop and I'm going around this tiny place trying to organize things so that one day it will be really the place I always wanted my bedroom to be.

This is my project. It is kind of a constant thing, but someday I'll turn this into the place I want...



(It was much more messy when I took this picture, but it was painting day...)